It might be hard to imagine what mental health concerns may look like for your toddler or preschooler.
However, it is important to realize that children experience the same emotions as adults do. They experience happiness, sadness, anger, fear, loneliness and embarrassment, however, they do not always know how to express these feelings in appropriate ways, so it’s important to look for red flags. When their feelings get too big, children do not always have the words to use to express themselves, resulting in using challenging or unsafe behaviors to express these big feelings.
What can feel tough are the moments when those feelings overwhelm your child, leading to behavior that stresses them or your family. When these behaviors start interfering with daily life—play, learning, peer relationships—your instincts are right: it's time to consider extra support.
Here is a list of common red flags that can help you to determine if your child needs support:
Separation and Transition Struggles:
- Extreme distress (crying, tantrums, and clinging to you) when separating from you or knowing that they will be away from you.
- Extreme distress during transitions—like bedtime or changing activities—common around age 3–5. Before or during each transition, your child may cry excessively or have temper tantrums that last more than 5 to 10 minutes.
- The symptoms are excessive enough that it is impacting normal activities (school, friendships, and family relationships).
- The continuation or re-occurrence of intense anxiety upon separation after the age of 4 and through the elementary school years.
Social Concerns:
- Limited interest in peers, avoiding eye contact, or reluctance to join group games.
- Poor body awareness that impacts relationships with peers.
Behavioral Problems:
- Failure to follow rules or listen to directions and is often argumentative with adults.
- Overly Aggressive Behavior
- Long, intense tantrums with hitting, biting, scratching others, pulling hair, slamming/throwing objects, damaging property, and hurting others.
Excessive Clinginess or Attention Seeking with Adults
- Excessive anxiety related to being around new and/or familiar people/situations.
- Child freezes or moves towards you by approaching you backwards, sideways or hiding behind you. Your child behaves this way in most situations and no matter how you support them, they continue to avoid interacting with others.
Attention and Regulation Concerns:
- Difficulty completing tasks and following directives on a daily basis.
- Easily distracted and has difficulty concentrating or focusing on activities.
Daily Functioning Concerns:
- Toileting: Difficulty potty training and refuses to use the toilet.
- Eating issues: Refusing to eat, avoids different textures, or has power struggles over food.
- Sleeping problems: Difficulty falling asleep, refuses to go to sleep, has nightmares or wakes several times a night.
Children can exhibit concerns in the above areas off and on throughout their childhood. It is when these behaviors begin to impact peer and family relationships, cause isolation, interfere with learning and cause disruptions at home and in school that it is time to reach out for support.
Who can help?
Professionals like Licensed Clinical Social workers (LCSW), Licensed Clinical Professional Counselors (LCPC), Marriage and Family Therapists (MFT), and Psychologists can help.
Therapists will work with your child to help them to learn how to handle their big feelings and behavioral challenges. Therapists will use a variety of modalities during sessions including play, art, calming and self-regulation strategies, behavioral therapy, parent-child therapy, and parent education and support. They can also provide parent support and coaching to assist in diminishing the challenging behaviors at home. Often these professionals will collaborate with your child’s school and can provide additional support for your child within the school setting.
What North Shore Pediatric Therapies (NSPT) Offers
At NSPT, we believe every child has innate strengths and deserves compassionate, evidence-based support:
- Play-based therapy: Using art, books, games to build social and emotional skills
- Emotion coaching: Helping your child name and manage big feelings—calm-down strategies tailored to them (e.g., breathing, bubbles, self-hugs).
- Parent coaching: Partnering with you to establish routines, use neuro-affirming communication, and set up calming environments
- Collaborative team approach: Therapists collaborate closely with your child’s school to reinforce growth and consistency
We embrace a neuro-affirming philosophy—honoring your child’s individuality, building on their strengths, and creating safe spaces for them to grow.
Your Partner in Your Child’s Journey
Parenting a young child can be a rollercoaster of emotions—joy, worry, hope. At NSPT, we walk with you every step: celebrating your child’s unique way of being, guiding emotion management, and empowering you as their first advocate.
If you’ve noticed some of these behaviors and wonder if your child could benefit from additional support, our team is here for you. We offer services across the North Shore and surrounding areas, including Illinois locations like Evanston, Glenview, Arlington Heights, Naperville, and Woodridge.
Reach out today to schedule a no-obligation chat. Let’s nurture your child’s strengths—and build the emotional resilience that will help them thrive.
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