February 1, 2024

Top 10 Tips to get your Shy Child to Speak

Many children thrive in new environments or situations. They separate quickly from their parents, make friends easily and are eager to participate in the classroom. Not all children are like this, however. Some children are resistant to entering a room full of children and prefer to play alone.

Many children thrive in new environments or situations. They separate quickly from their parents, make friends easily and are eager to participate in the classroom. Not all children are like this, however. Some children are resistant to entering a room full of children and prefer to play alone. They may also be more reserved in circle time or in the classroom. They may have a hard time making new friends and having a conversation. Below are some ways you can encourage your shy child to come out of his/her shell.

10 Tips To Encourage Your Shy Child To Speak:

1. Encourage play groups with friends – Many children will have an easier time playing or talking when there are less people around. Ask your child’s teacher who your child tends to sit next to or who shares some of the same interests and invite them over for a play date. Start by having the play date at your house. Once your child is comfortable playing with his new friend in your house, change the setting and go to the park. When he/she seems ready to go over to the friend’s house, let your child bring some of his/her favorite toys to make the transition easier.

2. Help your child make friends – Making new friends isn’t something that comes easy to everyone. Start by introducing your child to someone his/her own age. Try to find out what the other child likes to do and see if they share any common interests. When you make the introduction, it’s helpful to say, “Scott is your age too! And guess what? He loves dinosaurs!” This will help your child ease into the process of making friends. Once your child becomes more comfortable or at ease, you can then invite the other friend over for a play date.

3. Role play – Use some of your child’s favorite toys to role play what may happen in real life. Let’s say your child has a hard time entering his/her classroom in the morning and saying hi to his/her peers. Use dolls or stuffed animals and act out this situation. Ask your child, “What could bear say to his friends?” If your child has a hard time playing with the other kids during free time, you could act this out as well. The goal here is to get your child thinking about what he/she could say or do. The roles can be reversed as well. You play the shy child and have your child’s bear be the one to help you think it through. Additionally, when you’re out in public, model what you would like your child to be doing in social situations. When you come in contact other people, say hello and ask how they are doing. Smile too!!

4. Don’t force your child – It’s important not to label your child as shy. While it’s okay to be a shy child, if you start labeling him/her or the behavior, it negatively reinforces the problem.

5. Incorporate their interests – What is your child really interested in? Does he/she love polar bears? Have him/her bring some books, toys or pictures to the classroom. While we just talked about how important it is not to force your child to talk, provide him/her with an opportunity to share what he/she brought in with classmates.

6. Give your child some “go to” lines – Sometimes it’s just the initial communication exchange that can be most challenging. Once they’re over the “hump” engaging with another peer becomes easier. Go over some “go to” lines that your child can use when meeting a new friend or wanting to play with a friend in his/her class.

  • Hi, how are you?
  • What’s your name?
  • Do you want to play?
  • Can I play too?
  • I like your ____.

7. Read books – There are many books that talk about being shy or have a shy character in them. Some book ideas include, “Are You Shy?” “Little Miss Shy” and “Shy Spaghetti and Excited Eggs.”

8. Social stories – Social stories are a great way to talk about difficult situations. Social stories provide a child with information about situations that he/she may find difficult or uncomfortable. You can find stories online or even write one of your own. By making one yourself, you can use pictures of actual people and places to make it more lifelike.

9. Improve your child’s self-esteem – You always want your child to feel good about him/her. Have your child tell you 10 things they like about himself/herself. Provide positive feedback when it’s appropriate (i.e. “You did such a great job saying hi to your friend.”) Teachers can also be helpful in promoting your child’s self-esteem.

10. Seek outside help – if it seems like your child is more than just shy, it may be helpful to seek advice from a professional. Some red flags include being socially withdrawn, avoiding eye contact, having a tantrum or crying before going to a social situation.  Remember to stay positive, be patient and always model good social skill behaviors!

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Testimonials

Success looks different for every child... But we bet we have a story that matches your child's needs. Like James, who started with us as non-speaking and lacking the ability to initiate and maintain social interactions. Today, he can speak complete sentences, clearly state his needs, and navigate social interactions with his friends!

Our infant daughter was in physical therapy with Anna Zahn for about five months.  Anna was consistent, patient, and wonderful with our daughter.  Anna was also clear in her communications with us as parents which helped us understand our daughter's progress and needs, as well as how we could help our daughter at home.  While we are proud that our daughter graduated PT, we will miss Anna's warmth and kindness.

Emily

I love this place! Chista is an amazing person, so sweet and kind and very professional in her work. All staff are very kind with children. I feel happy to find this place for my daughter. Thank you!!!

Maria Di Rita

I cannot say enough nice things about the staff! My son worked with Khadija as his ABA therapist and is finishing up this week with his OT, Sabrina. They were really instrumental in helping us navigate a new diagnosis. Both were so easy to approach with questions. From Leeann at the front desk to the RBTs (Alex, Rabbia, Molly, and many others), we always felt so welcomed. It seems like the staff genuinely enjoy their jobs, consistently offering feedback and suggestions on how to help my son.

Jennifer Peyer

We have been working with the amazing team at NSPT for many years. They have been essential in understanding and supporting our child. I recommend their services to anyone looking for their specific type of support.Posted to

Monica Terése Carranza

They are so sweet and kinds persons with professionalism and really worried about the kids and how help they to get new skills and moving forward with knowledge.

Alejandra M.

NSPT is fantastic! All of the staff are wonderful, accomodating, and make you feel welcome and comfortable. Alan is fantastic - he has helped our family tremendously and has such patience and purpose in everything he does.

Alex Ehrhardt

North Shore Pediatric Therapy has been amazing.  They have done a great job adjusting to the specific needs of my autistic child.

Matt Nakanishi

My 12 yr old son has a lovely support team in Robert (Social Work) and Lindsay (OT)! He gains so much from his sessions & I gain so much from the communication and brainstorming! Thanks!

Jennie Meyer

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